With Taylor Swift once again bringing John Mayer’s name to a new round of news, which many assume he’ll address when his “Call Her Daddy” interview drops, fans may naturally find themselves diving into the alleged story. of Mayer’s toxic behavior in relationships.
Specifically, many may wonder what exactly happened between Mayer and Jessica Simpson.
Let us inform you…
In 2010, John Mayer’s interview with Playboy created an uproar when he discussed his relationship with Jessica Simpson, whom he dated in 2006-2007.
Asked about the paparazzi stalking him and turning him into “a tabloid” when the two dated, he revealed he was, in his words, “addicted” to Simpson.
“It wasn’t as direct as saying, ‘I now make the choice to bring the paparazzi into my life.’ I really said, ‘I now choose to sleep with Jessica Simpson.’ It was stronger than my desire to stay out of the eye of the paparazzi. This girl, to me, is a drug. And drugs aren’t good for you if you do a lot of them. Yeah, this girl is like crack for me… Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm,” he said.
What is sexual napalm, you might ask?
Well, Mayer seems to further define it by talking about how being sexually dependent on a person is akin to being physically dependent on a specific drug.
At some point you would sell your couch, my couch, and whatever else for another try, if that was what was needed.
You go through withdrawal pangs when you are apart and crave a very specific and very visceral high. Perhaps your brain is making physical changes and these changes are later accessible through a triggering smell, taste, sound, or memory.
The term “napalm” usually conjures up the following: “awful, sticky burn”, “deforestation”, “scorched earth”, and “Charlie”. It rarely evokes memories or tearful feelings towards past sexual capades.
But the idea of being metaphorically burned by sex, in a way that’s not entirely negative, resonates.
Think about your first wildly sexual relationship, especially if the other person was incredibly eager to please.
Now try to remember: Was this relationship really about much more than sleeping, eating, and having sex? Didn’t have a future, but you just didn’t know how to end it?
“Napalm” might not be the best word to describe such a situation, but it’s not 100% unfit.
Now, while Mayer can be happy to tell the world he had an “addiction” to Jessica Simpson, she was particularly upset at the time.
Speaking to Oprah, Simpson said, “I tried to read the article and I was so…I was so disappointed in it…It made me so sad. And that was really disheartening because he’s not the John I knew.”
It took him another 10 years before Simpson finally revealed his side of the story.
Simpson’s memoir, “Open Book,” was released on February 4, 2020. In it, she reveals some incredibly shocking information.
Not only does she talk about her abuse as a child, but she opened up about her toxic relationship with Mayer and how that influence led her to drink and do drugs.
After her divorce from Nick Lachey in 2005, she started dating other men and Mayer started writing her notes.
However, according to Simpson, “[Mayer] wanted to have everything from me or nothing… He would walk into a room and pick up his guitar and you would pass out. I didn’t really know the man behind the guitar. And that was my mission.
When they started dating in 2006, she “fell in love with his intensity,” adding, “Over and over he told me he was obsessed with me, sexually and emotionally.”
Simpson says she began to feel uncomfortable around Mayer, noting that although the two had broken up several times, taking one last break wasn’t easy.
In a recent interview with Hoda Kotb for the Today show, Simpson revealed that she’s been back to seeing Mayer nine times!
Simpson attributes her spiral into alcohol and drugs at least in part to her fear of losing Mayer and the feelings of insecurity she developed during their relationship.
“My anxiety was increasing and I was pouring another drink. It was the start of my addiction to alcohol to mask my nerves,” she revealed.
She says a lot of her anxiety started when she was sexually abused as a child and choosing substances to numb that pain.
Fortunately, Simpson’s memoir details the uplifting journey she undertook to get to where she is today.
She added, “[Mayer] loved me as best he could, and I loved this love for a very long time. Too long. And I went back and forth with it for a long time. But it controlled me.
After Mayer’s Playboy interview, Simpson cut off all contact with him.
“He thought that was what I wanted to be called. I was dumbfounded and embarrassed that my grandmother read that…A woman and how she is in bed is not something never talked about. It was shocking… He was the most loyal person on the planet and when I read that he wasn’t, that was it for me. I deleted his number. He made it easy for me.”
Mayer shared his take on Simpson’s book, telling Bravo’s Andy Cohen that he’ll probably never read it.
“I heard about it. I heard some things,” Mayer said. “But as Pee Wee Herman says in ‘Pee Wee’s Big Adventure’ before the movie of his life is about to unfold at the end, he doesn’t watch the movie and the reason he doesn’t watch the movie, he says, ‘I don’t have to watch it Dottie, I lived it. I think it’s prescient here.”
It’s been about a decade and a half since the exes dated, and Simpson has her own life and family.
Simpson is married to footballer Eric Johnson, whom she married in 2014. They have three children.
Tom Miller is a Los Angeles-based writer and performer. He was a mechanical engineer and a banker, and is now the managing director and coordinating video producer at YourTango.
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