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Drew Barrymore opens up about intimacy after woman accuses her of hating sex

October 16, 2022

Drew Barrymore has shared how motherhood and divorce have affected her outlook on sex and relationships. (Photo: REUTERS/Andrew Kelly)

Drew Barrymore is setting the record straight after a recent comment on her eponymous talk show left some viewers with the impression that she “hates sex.”

Last month Barrymore, 47, responded to actor Andrew Garfield’s claim that he had given up sex for six months before playing a Jesuit priest in the 2016 film. The silence. In response, the actress – a single mother who has been candid about dating dilemmas on the show – joked, “What’s wrong with me, six months doesn’t seem like a long time? was like, ‘Yeah so?'”

But some took this flippant remark about being single the wrong way, as Barrymore found out when she was recently approached by a woman after finishing a workout. “You look like Drew Barrymore except you seem to be mentally well and on top of that…she hates sex!” the woman told him.

After finally tying this woman’s comment to what she said on her show last month, Barrymore felt moved to clarify how her view of intimacy has evolved over the years, from her wild upbringing as a child star to his current state as a bachelor. mom who shares two daughters with third husband Will Kopelman.

“At almost 48 years old, I have very different feelings about the intimacy that I felt growing up,” said the AND the extra-terrestrial shared a new blog post titled “Rebels Who Love” on Sunday. “I had no role model parents and engaged with people in an adult way from a young age! I was looking for companionship! validation! excitement! fun! hedonism! fun! And adventures! Now, because I can’t go back in the time machine and change my story… [I] choose to look at it through a positive lens, that is, I lived! I have lived a very rich, full life.

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“However, after two children and a separation from their father which made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of changing direction when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters. I know this does not include a man nor has one for a while,” continued Barrymore, who divorced Kopelman in 2016, adding information from her therapist that helped her distinguish sex from love. “I realized while working in therapy (with Barry) he said something and I had to write it down. He said, ‘Sex is not love! It’s the expression of love.” I’ve searched all my life for words like that to help me understand the difference and now, thanks to him, I do.”

The never been kissed The actress went on to explain how being a mother to Olive, 10, and Frankie, 8, changed the way she approaches relationships, both with herself and with others. Barrymore shared that “Since being a single mom, I haven’t been able to have an intimate relationship.”

“I had the honor and pleasure of working on myself and learning what parenthood is, again something I wasn’t very clear about growing up and I had many learning curves on my path,” she continued. “I was intimidated. I triumphed. I was asked to be educated in every way possible. The truth is that it is different for every family and every individual, but I had to try to find my I am also raising two daughters so how do we educate the girls to be appropriate and empowered and to love each other and realize that we live in a time where the images and messages they will see will also contradict what i have come to believe intimacy is! Intimacy is something that makes you feel good about yourself! I have also spoken and learned when something does not make you feel good or makes you feel bad about yourself, give as much pay attention to that than to what makes you feel good because there is a lesson in that.

Barrymore announces her divorce from Will Kopelman (pictured in 2011) — Barrymore says her divorce from Will Kopelman (pictured in 2011) “shake me to the core”. (Photo: REUTERS/Kena Betancur)

While Barrymore has been open about her love life, she isn’t looking for anything serious at the moment.

“I’m just in a completely different place in my life and maybe in the near future I’ll have a relationship…but that just hasn’t been my priority,” she wrote. “So I’m not a person who needs sex and has to go out and engage with people on that level. I’m someone who is deeply committed to fostering the way young girls, my daughters and myself as a woman, are supposed to function in this world!A relationship with a man has not been a priority for me for a very long time.

“Some people may come out of a marriage or a relationship and find themselves in the near future in another relationship,” she noted. “There’s nothing wrong with that! Not at all. I’m not judging! I’m celebrating their journey! Because for some people it really works. It didn’t work for me. I needed staying very single and honoring and sort of a state of mourning the loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters and finding grace and acceptance and what would be our new normal of blended family. It took time. I’m proud of myself for having I took this time. This is what I, as myself and no one but me, needed to do and I honored that and I respect myself for that, like I respect anyone else for their choices the fact that it’s not my personal priority to be with a partner, but that doesn’t mean I can’t say it won’t be one day. I need time. And my view of sex has really changed.

Barrymore, who has been married three times, has also reflected on her love life over the years.

“When I was younger, I wish I had the chastity and thoughtfulness that I have about intimacy now as a 48-year-old woman,” she admitted. “I wish my mum, dad or friends had taught me that there is an age-appropriate business and there is a way to become a stylish young woman! There are some fun things, but also limits that can lead to enormous self-respect.When you are selective and see sex as an expression of love and not love itself…well, I am so happy to be here now in my life. But don’t forget that I’m a naughty monkey who is rebellious and weird and comical and wacky and doesn’t judge others and really doesn’t want anyone to be very involved in my choices when it’s about this vulnerable topic but because i’ve been an open book all my life but here we are!”

Barrymore ended her essay by clarifying where she stands on the subject of sex.

“So FYI, I don’t hate sex!” she wrote. “I’ve finally come to understand that love and sex just aren’t the same thing. I’ve strived all my life…to be a calm woman and not an explosive party girl. Also, when you grow up and you Are you in a marriage with kids and you think you’ll only be with this one person for the rest of your life and then it doesn’t happen? It shook me deeply, to put it lightly. But I did. the luck of having my cup overflows in the realm of love: I have my two daughters, and for the first time in my life, I also include self-love.”

She concluded, “I want everyone to find out what makes them feel good about themselves and seek it out! And if and when they find what makes them feel bad about themselves, what makes them feel bad about themselves? “they pay attention to it and avoid it, and even refrain from inviting emotions that don’t lead to self-respect. And then of course, find out what makes them feel good about themselves and look for that! And to be passionate and protective in the fact that we all deserve love! and we should all give love! but love and sex just aren’t the same thing.”

The talk show host’s thoughts on relationships and motherhood echo comments she made during an appearance on CBS this morning in January.

“I never realized and said out loud that I don’t know how to date kids,” she shared. “The father of my children has happily remarried the most wonderful woman in the world, Allie [Michler]. My children have this extraordinary mother-in-law. Our processes have been different and their side of the street is so functional and whole and happening. And I think I’ve been sidelined – in a beautiful and honoring purgatory.

“I said, ‘It’s me,’ ‘It’s my choice,’ ‘I’m not ready,’ ‘I want to wait,'” she continued. “I don’t think I said out loud it’s really because I have these two girls.”